THIS WEEK'S EPISODE:

Episode #1054: Like You Scrub the Ducks
First Broadcast: 5/18/26
Helpful hint: If you ever find yourself giving a commencement address to college graduates in the year 2026, maybe don't be surprised when they boo the technology that's trying to put them all out of work and cheer the idea of world where that technology doesn't exist. That's what happened when Gloria Caulfield, the "vice president of strategic alliances at Tavistock Group," gave a commencement address at the University of Central Florida on May 8 of this year, and she seemed completely puzzled when she told the students that "The rise of artificial intelligence is the next industrial revolution," and they booed her in return. She followed up by telling them, "Only five years ago, A.I. was not a factor in our lives," a fact which they loudly cheered, their reaction aaprently equally surprising to her. All of this made me wonder: Why was someone so seemingly out of touch with these students even asked to speak to them in the first place? Perhaps the answer lies with her company, Tavistock Group, which, according to Google, is built around a "core philosophy" of "We strive for excellence," which sounds about as generic as you can get for a philosophy these days. Wikipedia has a slightly more concrete description of the company:

Tavistock Group is a Bahamas-based private investment organization founded in 1975. It has offices in 13 countries; Bahamas, the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, Mexico, the United States, Jamaica, Argentina, Poland, Moldova, Romania, Bulgaria, and Sri Lanka.

"Bahams-based," you say? Now, why would an international company base itself in the Bahamas? Well, Wikipedia has a clue to that too:

The economy has a very competitive tax regime (classified by some as a tax haven). The government derives its revenue from import tariffs, VAT, licence fees, property and stamp taxes, but there is no income tax, corporate tax, capital gains tax, or wealth tax. [Emphasis added]

So, the speaker works for a company that's actively trying to avoid paying taxes to the country where she's speaking, and endorsing technology that aims to make an entire generation of people obsolete an unemployed. Wonderful role model so far. But why was she speaking at the University of Central Florida in the first place? Wikipedia, can you help us a third time? Tell us more about the planned community of Lake Nona, Florida, which gets a special shout-out on Tavistock Group's Wikipedia page:

The centerpiece of the community is Lake Nona Medical City--which includes the University of Central Florida College of Medicine... [Emphasis added]

I think, as John Hodgman might say, we have now found the crux. What better way to ingratiate yourself with your benefactor than to let one of their executives spout a few ill-thought words of wisdom to your latest generation of indebted customers consumers students before an afternoon of mingling with the help faculty? Maybe everyone involved in this debacle thought a speech like this would be enough to distract the audience from the 50% increase in the price of coffee since 2020? Or the 37% increase in electricity prices since 2020--prices which are no doubt spiking because of the tremendous amount of electricity required by data centers in order to operate the very A.I. that's causing the "revolution" that might be consigning all the listening students to a life of eternal poverty? Maybe I need to distract myself with some conveyor-belt sushi (that's replacing a McDonald's? Who knew?) in the near future.

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last updated May 17, 2026
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